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Writing + Photography

Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate. 

Your Creations Are NOT Your Babies

You’ve probably heard someone say “my creations are my babies”. 

I hear this all the time. From business ideas, to blog posts, to podcasts, to speeches and even meals. As a species, humans have the tremendous privilege of being able to make cool shit. 

I don’t think any other species even gets close to our ability to create, in such a wide range of areas. 

But here’s the thing; treating our creations as our babies is a romantic ideal that sounds sweet, but in reality can be highly detrimental to our health and to our ability to continue creating more cool shit. 

If your creations are your babies then you will need to babysit them forever. And most of us do and this burden of labour on us, means our creation become isolated, like an only child. 

Creating something is different than marketing it. 

Creating something is different than defending it. 

Creating something is different than thanking everyone that “liked” it. 

Personally I fucking hate this part. It feels stifling. Creation has this wonderfully intoxicating momentum and I love momentum. But then having to think about the marketing, defending and thanking of everyone, brings that forward momentum to a halt. 

Don’t get me wrong I understand how important all 3 of these tasks are. And honestly I am so grateful for anyone that takes time to witness and experience any of my creations. Deeply thankful. 

But feeling this pressure to respond and thank everyone, each time, feels forced and for me feeds this underling dependency on social validation. Some of my favourite photos, videos and content I have created are ones that very few people “liked”. But they added deep meaning to me and my life. 

My point is this, I think there is value for us as a creative species to distinguish the act of creation from the marketing, defending and showing thanks for our creations. 

This allows us to ride that wave of momentum much further. As it keeps things simple. 

Create because there is something that wants to be expressed. 

Create because you have something to contribute. 

Create because it feels so fucking good. 

Once that energy has come through you and been released into the world…walk away. 

Let people experience (or not experience) in whatever way they feel fit. Everyone is entitled to their own experience. 

SUPER IMPORTANT NOTE: 

I sound way braver than I am. 

By writing this post I am mostly speaking to myself. 

To be honest I have a long history of struggling with being too attached to my creations. I care way too much what people think and how many people ‘like’ or comment on my post. That’s the truth. It feels unhealthy and obsessive at times. A really nasty out of control feeling. 

But I’m working on it. 

I am looking at the parts of myself that feel inadequate and insecure when “enough” people don’t clap for my creations. And I am finding ways to clap for those parts on my own. 

Sincerely, 

D

Darius BasharComment