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Toronto Portrait Photographer || HEARTshots || Black + White Photography

Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate. 

Breakdown
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When a phone becomes outdated, we discard it and upgrade to a newer model.

When a building is no longer to code, the city takes it down and re-builds.

When a government is causing harm to its citizens, it is overthrown.

When a culture is exposed of being systematically destructive, causing pain and hurt perpetually, we evolve and grow as a society… well, that’s what I’d like to believe. Actually, I’m not sure if the evidence supports any of the above claims. People continue to hold on to old phones, shaky buildings, tyrannical governments and destructive cultures such as rape culture, white supremacy culture, male supremacy culture etc.

It feels like things are breaking down all around us. Maybe, this is a good thing.

Society as a whole feels fragile and uncertain. Everywhere I look, I see hurt and division. But the truth is, the pain has always been there. People all around us have been suffering in silence, and all of us have been complicit — some more than others. We have always known things are not fair. We have always known there is great inequality in our society. But we have all unconsciously (or consciously) thrown our hands up and said “that’s just how it is”.

Maybe this shit storm is what evolution feels like. Maybe this is what going deep and healing our collective soul is all about.

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Going Deep

Going deeper means having to deal with the darkness that exists in all of us. It can be a terrifying journey. You are leaving the saftey and warmth of the surface, not sure what you will find.

Also, you can't take anyone with. It's a solo dive. And after a certain depth, there is no turning back. You are too far deep (and too woke) to go back.

Like a rollercoaster ride deep into your own heart. The only thing you can do is buckle up and surrender to the majesty of The Universe. And definitely don't forget to open your eyes. No matter how scary, you don't want to miss the view. That's sort of the whole point.

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Dogs and Elevators

How would you explain the concept of an elevator to a dog? Would the dog be able to understand the mechanics and physics of how it all works? You might be able to train the dog to partake in riding an elevator, but do you think that dog could ever fully comprehend, without any doubt, the intelligent design that goes into that elevator? Probably not.

Sorry to all the dog lovers out there, but a dog's brain is simply not advanced enough to understand complex topics such as physics, engineering and math.

This is just like trying to access and comprehend God through the human brain. It just won't compute. Human logic is useless when trying to understand something that lives outside of time and space. That's the bad news.

There is good news too. We each have another access point to finding God. It's radically different than your human brain. It goes by many names; your heart, your gut, your soul.

Now, all we need to do is find a nice quiet corner and listen.

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Impending Doom

What if there was a countdown to your ability to express your light? What if everyday you got closer to The Day, it would all be taken away from you? What if you could feel the end lurking around the corner; never sure when it was all going to be snatched away from you, for good. 

Would you try and squeeze every little bit of light out into the world, or would you succumb to the existential despair of it all? 

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New Friends
“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
— - unknown author
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SunChasers 008 Vol. Snazzie
“He not busy being born is busy dying.”
— Bob Dylan
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Gord

Rest in peace Gord. You made us so proud to be Canadian. You showed us everyday that kindness and artistry can easily co-exist.

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SunChasers 007 Vol. - Gypsy
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
— Mother Teresa
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SunChasers 006 Vol. - JayWalk

Had the pleasure of spending the morning with Jay Agustin. I'm looking forward to many more hangs. ❤️❤️❤️

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Deep Sea Diving

What's the point? It can't all be about commerce and the accumulation of goods. What's driving all of it, or all of Us, or even just me? A voice inside stares deep into my soul and asks "what do you REALLY want?". This question allows me to abstract away from my daily tasks and "to dos" and gives me the space to think about the bigger picture.

What am I working towards? Which mountain have I decided to climb? What do I want my limited time on earth to be about? I don't have many answers yet, just more questions. Each discovery taking me deeper.

It can get dark and lonely at the bottom of the sea. The deeper you go, the less human tools such as sight and sound become useful. You'll need to find something else to help you navigate the deep unknowns of your heart.

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