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Toronto Portrait Photographer || HEARTshots || Black + White Photography

Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate. 

Unsolicited Advice
You've got nothing left.
No more words.
No more photos.
No more to discover.

You reached the core of your soul and realized nothing. 
I told you to shut up and keep to yourself.
Your reward for all that hard work,
absurdity and nothingness for eternity. 

Enjoy. 
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Time Traveler
Postalgia:

The ability to transport your consciousness to a time in the future, 
where you are having nostalgia about the exact moment you are presently experiencing. 
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Canvas
Everything is a canvas
Your morning coffee
Your yoga mat
Your text message
Your prayer
Your outfit
Your stride
Your email
Your breath
The neck of your lover
The insides of your lover

Everything, a canvas
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Sally
Wisdom is when you understand what, previously, at best you only knew.
— Idries Shah

She taught me how to hit a baseball, without ever hitting one herself.

She worked 7-days a week, for 6-months straight, so that I could have a car to drive to school.

Despite all of my resistance, she taught me how to meditate when I was 20 years old. And trust me there was a lot of resistance. 

She stood by me when I re-rooted my life and decided to follow my dreams and go to film school, at the age of 30.

She flew 4300 km to watch my first film screening and showed nothing but love.

She is the reason I am, who I am.

But sometimes who "I am" is no longer "me".

For a mom that can be really hard to accept, because no one knows you better than mama.

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PORTRAIT 063 - REZA JACKSON

 

Fact: I've never had a women ask me to amplify the "imperfections" in their photos (e.g. wrinkles, sun marks, beauty marks, etc)

Fact: I've had 3 men ask me in the last 2 weeks alone. 

Opinion: We raise our sons and daughters very differently. Some of these differences are healthy, others are toxic. 

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(click to enlarge photos below)

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Pain Will Set You Free - NSFW

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is not.

Michael Singer said it best “Pain is the cost of freedom.”

At some point in every human’s life, there will be Trauma (another word for pain). These darker moments in our lives bring up feelings that can be very heavy and often overwhelming.

A common approach to heavier feelings is to suppress them. This is the cause of all emotional suffering. In an attempt to “feel better” we often ignore or deny these feelings. Short-term, this can help us actually feel better. Long-term, this denial is the single most detrimental action we partake in — both emotionally, and spiritually. 

At the moment of trauma, if we decide to deny our feelings and close-up, we unintentionally trap that darker energy inside of us. This ball of densely trapped energy inevitably becomes a blockage in our heart.

The irony is that, in an attempt to move away from those unwanted feelings, we actually end-up bringing them infinity closer.

This approach traps those dreaded feelings inside us, like a roommate we loath, but for some reason decided to sign a 20-year lease with. That which we are trying to leave behind, ends-up owning real estate inside our most precious possession — our hearts.

Healing happens when we realize darkness is not evil or a bottomless pit. Darkness is merely the blockage of light. These blockages are living within each of us and are preventing the magnificent beauty of our light from shining onto the world.

Stepping into the pain can be scary. It feels darker because with every step we are getting closer to the blockage. It can feel isolating because with every step we are moving away from the surface and its many distractions.

But remember, with every step we are ALSO moving closer to the light, moving closer to the Infinite and closer to freedom.

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(click to enlarge photos below)