Don’t dim your light to fit in. Take a page out of my dear friend Anya’s book and lead with your heart, your truth AND your magic.

I will forever be indebted to Anya because she gave me a gift that changed my entire photography process. Something so powerful and special that I now consider it one of my secret weapons as a photographer.

The first time we shot together we sat and we chatted and one of the questions I asked Anya was, “How do you want people to feel when they experience these photos?” She thought for a moment, and then unapologetically blurted out:

I’m quirky. I don’t want to hide from that. I want people to see that right away because that’s what’s true for me. It’s a part of my magic. And yes, that might turn some people off, but that’s way better than taking pictures that aren’t real and then people booking me and meeting me in real life and realizing, “Oh my God, I can’t work with her.”

In the moment, this seemed very subtle and simple: quirky is something that was true for her, and she wanted that captured. But as I let the deep wisdom of this moment sink into my consciousness, it eventually became one of the foundations for my HEARTshots Photography process.

The real reason that traditional headshots don’t work in 2019 is because they all look the same.

People can’t feel into the real you when you are trying to be like everyone else. And if they can’t feel into your your truth from your photos, they can’t trust you from them either.

Quirky was one of Anya’s words. And now in my process, we always list out 5 words before we start shooting. Your words might be fierce, wise, playful, sexy, kind—the list is endless. The point is that whatever they are, they shouldn’t hide or distract from the REAL YOU.

I love you on Anya. You’ve changed my life in so many ways. Here’s a little snapshot of Anya, including some of the photos we took with her and her beloved.

8 QUESTIONS WITH ANYA ROMANOVA

How would your mom/dad describe what you do for a living (their words, NOT yours)
Unemployed. Get a real job.
Describe your coaching approach in 2-3 sentences.
I like to reveal patterns to my clients that are driving their life and decisions, but they are not aware of. I do it through my 1-on-1 work or through Recognizing Unconscious Bias interactive training that we bring to organizations all around the GTA.
Who is your favourite type of person to coach?
I love helping people create products such as live events, workshops or trainings to showcase their brilliance and build their visibility with the goal of leading to more work/clients.
Share the name of one coach or mentor that has impacted your life:
Carey Baker. She gave me full permission to speak my truth and even though it might hurt in the moment, the truth can help people grow. I am often the one to give feedback to my clients that nobody else is willing to give.
When you were 10 years old, what did you want to be?
Pre-school teacher. I thought I loved kids, but really I love all humans.
Name one book that changed your life:
The Will to Change (by bell hooks)
Name one thing that you are super excited about:
To take my partner on a trip to Russia. It will blow her mind ;)
What's 1 training program that you can highly you highly recommend to coaches looking to level up?
CTI 10 month leadership program. It will change you and how you live your life forever.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ANYA

Website: www.anyaromanova.com

Instagram: @anyaromanovacoaching

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/anyaromanova

(CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTOS)

Coach of The WeekDarius BasharOctober 30, 2019Coach of The WeekComment

Liz Gilbert Told Me I am not a Genius

My first words ever to Liz Gilbert were, “I love you.”

I’ll never forget what happened next.

She instantly softened and reached out her hand to mine. Before any photos were taken, we spent a few seconds together hand in hand. At the end of our shoot together I leaned in and told her, “You have radically shifted my life in so many ways, and I am eternally grateful for you.”

Then before I knew it, the two of us were embraced in a hug.

I can’t think of any human that has impacted my creativity more than Liz. And there I was, hugging Liz-freaking-Gilbert.

This was sincerely one of the most special moments in my entire life.

So on this #TipTuesday, I want to share a piece of wisdom Liz taught me 11 years ago via a TED talk that rocked my world. This idea led me to massive levels of creation and productivity in my career:

A “genius” is not a person. Genius is just the energy that flows through a person.

Of course, I am paraphrasing. But this idea shook me to the core, and more importantly it freed me…

What if I was no longer responsible for upholding the daunting and unsustainable duties of a so-called genius? What if instead, genius is an energy that I have access to in any moment? What a gift!

To this day I remind myself that the photos I take are not mine. These words are not mine. These ideas are NOT MINE. I am just a conduit that allows them to pass through me and into this world.

And if my vessel is cluttered, clogged up, or otherwise inhospitable for new creative ideas to flow through me, then genius energy will find someone else to flow through.

Here are 4 reminders you can use to help you access the “Genius Energy” every day:

Remember that you aren’t the owner of your creativity. That is not your book. That’s not your event. That’s not your podcast, your photos, or even your song. You are just a vessel allowing the creative energy into this world. Even if attachment to your work feels good short-term, remember that over time it will not lead to long term output.
You have access to the infinite source energy. You also have access to the same creative ideas as Liz Gilbert, and any other person you deeply admire. Think about that.
Your primary roll in this process is to clear your vessel and make room, so that the genius energy will want to flow through you.
Let it all go before it’s too late. Genius energy will not flow through you if you are backlogged. Yes, this means releasing creative ideas into the world so that you can make room for more genius flow. But it also means clean your inbox, do your taxes, say sorry for that thing you feel bad about, exercise, and move energy. Release, release, release!

PS: Liz Gilbert, if you’re reading this, I want you to know how deeply you have changed my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you or the lesson(s) you have gifted me with. I love you Liz, and can’t wait until we meet again.

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Tip TuesdaysDarius BasharOctober 29, 2019Tip TuesdaysComment

I had a dream with many naked men... and loved it.

I had a vision in my dream last night that I can’t stop thinking about. This vision found me again in my meditation this morning.

It was like watching a film in super HD resolution. The transmission was crystal clear.

It was about the collaboration and publication of a book—unlike any book I have seen before.

The title was Soft Men.

These 2 simple words placed next to each other are very triggering for me.

I was taught by society that a soft man is undesirable. There is no room for men to be soft in our world: soft bellies, soft penises, softness of the heart—these are all seen as shameful.

We literally use the word “soft” to describe a man that is weak; “He’s gone soft.” We demand that men be hard at all times.

Yet I have so many soft men in my life, for whom I am deeply grateful. It took a lot to find them, but they are here now. And I know of others that I follow online and respect deeply. And the vision I had for this book was to capture these soft men through beautiful black and white portrait photography. Each photo collection paired with an intimate essay written by the person being photographed.

The men in the book will all be nude.

The photos will be raw, real and intimate.

Beautifully soft.

(And in this vision? I was in the book too. Also naked. Also soft. Also beautiful and raw.)

Normally I’d keep an idea like this a secret, and maybe tell one or two people. Normally that would result in no accountability. And 9 times out of 10, the project would go nowhere. Lost like a dream, with no anchors to reality.

But I want to make this book.

Because I want to honour the incredible soft men in my life.

I want to find more soft men in the world and celebrate their courage.

I want to encourage more men to open their hearts and soften.

I want to show the world that soft men can change the world.

And I need your help…

I am looking for co-creators for this project. If you know any Soft Men who you think are aligned with this concept, tag them below. Men who are willing to strip away all their armour (and clothing) and let the world see their hearts.

wow photoDarius BasharOctober 28, 2019wow photoComment

If You Can Scare + Excite Me I’ll Work With You For Free

Before we start, there are 3 things you need to know about me & how I became a photographer:

I have zero formal training in this craft.
I only began doing this full-time in 2018.
I convinced people I could do things that I didn’t yet know how to do.

That last point is how my whole photography career began. I walked into a client meeting with a creative idea, the client said yes and signed the cheque, and then I walked out. It felt so dangerous and terrifying that I wanted to throw up. But the terror drove me to figuring it out, and over time I saw that this method was actually a strategy that worked really well for me.

Because eventually, I started feeling excitement in addition to the terror. And the balance of these two feelings is really productive for me. It keeps me on my toes, it keeps things fresh, and it builds confidence if and only if I ride the wave all the way to the end.

It worked so well that I was able to build my whole business around taking risks. Around stepping into the unknown and pushing edges. And best of all, now I’m transparent with clients and collaborators in meetings, often telling them:

“I’m not exactly sure how we’re going to do this. But I want you to know that the unknown is where I do my best work.”

But it’s important to remember…

For a risk to truly be a risk, it means there’s a chance it might not work.

That’s the whole point. So if you’re going to play with the magic of risk, be sure to stock up on relentlessness and resourcefulness. Because when you reach the inevitable point where you have no idea what to do next, you’ll have the energy to keep going and trust that you will find your way out.

Does this sound like fun to you?

Let’s take a risk together. If you’ve got a photography idea and would be interested in collaborating with me, comment on this post and then DM me your concept. Open to anyone: makeup artist, models, close friends, complete strangers, ANYONE.

It doesn’t need to be fully fleshed out. It could just be a feeling or a photo you’ve seen online.
It doesn’t need to cost any money. (This is not about commerce for me. This is about art, creation and collaboration.)
It doesn't need to make sense.
You don’t need to have experience.
I‘ll pick an idea that most activates my heart and scares me a little.

It won't cost you anything. You have nothing to lose, but it still feels risky, right? That's the nerves. It’s okay; I feel them too. They are full of magic, I promise.

All you have to do is write 2 words below and we’ll take it from there. Comment below with "Let’s play.”

(CLick to enlarge photos)

Risky FridaysDarius BasharOctober 25, 2019Risky FridaysComment

Your Creative breakthrough is on the Other side of Risk

We all know that risk feels dangerous when you’re new to an industry or career, and still building your reputation. But what’s interesting to me is that risk can feel even MORE dangerous when you’ve established yourself.

It feels as if you have more to lose. Higher expectations. More people paying attention. And when you have things that are already working, it’s so easy to fall back onto them, and keep things simple and risk-free.

This project with my dear friend Chidiogo and Kelly is a really good example of big creative risk for me.

I first had a vision for this project during a dream. I woke up I texted Chidi and I shared the dream with her and my desire to collaborate on something new and different.

She said yes. I felt equal parts excited and nervous. Excited for a new collaboration. Nervous, because we had never worked together before and the concept was a totally unknown creative style for me.

Leading up to the day of the shoot, I felt so much anxiety around stepping into this unknown territory. A voice in my head shouted, “How the hell are we going to do this?! Why don’t you just do what you already know.” But that loud voice was just one part of me.

My solution was to go in and have a conversation with this anxious voice. I thanked him for wanting to protect me from failure and pain. But then I looked him in the eye and reminded him:

Creative risks are a competitive advantage in creative fields. And everything that has ever given me security and stability as a creative professional started by diving headfirst into the unknown.

I took the risk, and I’m so glad I did.

After pushing through, I experienced a creative breakthrough. IT WORKED, and now as a result of this risk, I feel even more stability and security.

There are lots of times I have no idea how the hell I am going to execute a bold creative concept. But I do know I have access to a level of relentlessness and resourcefulness that allow me to push through the terror. And I also know that when I’m courageous and intentional, the Universe has my back.

Is there a creative risk you need to take? What’s holding you back?

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—> WANNA WORK TOGETHER⁣⁣⁣⁣?

If you’re ready to take your coaching, speaking, writing or healing business to the next level, I am here to help.

My HEARTshot photography process is designed from the ground up, to help heart-centred leaders grow their IMPACT and make more money. Here is a link to my October Promo page. Spots are limited --> http://www.dariusbashar.com/heart-shots

(CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTOS)

Keeping It Real ThursdaysDarius BasharOctober 24, 2019Keeping It Real ThursdaysComment

Walls

As many of you know, at some point in life most of us will experience trauma or significant emotional pain. Darker moments in life can bring us back to these feelings. The experience is very intense and often overwhelming.

One way to respond to intense feelings is to suppress them—I’ve got lots of experience doing exactly this. We ignore or deny these feelings in an attempt to feel better. And in my opinion, this is the cause of most emotional suffering.

Short-term, this strategy might actually work at helping us feel better. But the irony is that in an attempt to move away from those unwanted feelings in the moment, we actually end-up bringing them infinitely closer over time.

Long-term, this attempt to suppress what we feel may slow us down drastically, and even dims our light.

When we deny our feelings, we begin to close off. This slow-moving, dense energy inevitably becomes an emotional blockage. Like a wall surrounding our hearts, we end up trapping those heavier feelings deeper inside us.

It’s kind of like asking a roommate that you loathe to sign a 20-year lease with you.

That which we are trying to push away ends up owning real estate inside our most precious possession — our hearts.

For me, healing happened when I realized that darkness is not evil or a bottomless pit. The pain I was feeling was merely a giant emotional wall, between the light of my heart and the rest of the world.

These blockages living within each of us prevent the magnificent beauty of our light from shining out into the world. And for some of us, the walls are so sophisticated and clever that we don’t even see them.

I think Michael Singer said it best in his powerful book The Surrender Experiment:

Pain is the cost of freedom.

Stepping into the pain can feel scary.

Every step you may feel darker, because it’s closer to the blockages.

Every step may feel isolating, because you’re further away from the surface and its many distractions.

But remember:

With every courageous step you take into the depths of your heart, you are also stepping closer to your light and joy. And even though it seems darkest as your approach your own emotional wall, know that just inches behind that wall is the most beautiful light in the Universe. The light from your own heart.

(CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTO)

Keeping It Real ThursdaysDarius BasharOctober 17, 2019Keeping It Real ThursdaysComment

7 Reasons To Quit Sharing Your HEART on Social Media

You’re probably expecting me to talk about the many benefits of social media—to grow your business, and the benefits of authentic self expression.

But right now, I want to talk about the many reasons I do NOT want to make and share content.

Specifically, I’m referring to my new, long-term social media strategy: which includes creating DAILY content.

You might not know this about me, but I wake up at 5AM from Monday to Friday. I meditate, I ground myself, and then create the new content for that day. And whatever I create, I release as a new social media post.

There’s also a bigger strategy around my content, involving the categories of what I focus on. But that’s not the point of this post. The point of this post is there are MANY days when I DO NOT want to make content.

I’ve had countless conversations in my head, where the parts of me that feel insecure try to convince me to quit.

So… seeing how today is Thursday, and Thursday’s content is all about keeping it real, I wanted to share some of these thoughts with you.

Here’s a snapshot of what goes through my head when I’m trying to convince myself to quit sharing on social media. Maybe you can relate; maybe you can’t. I’ll be honest, today’s post is mostly for me. I need to let go of these fears. And the first step to letting them go is acknowledging that they exist.

I bet it’s not just me, and I wanna know if you feel the same. What’s YOUR biggest fear when it comes to sharing content on social media? Leave your answer in the comments or send me a DM.

Keeping It Real ThursdaysDarius BasharOctober 10, 2019Keeping It Real ThursdaysComment

Lisa da Rocha (COACH OF THE WEEK)

What I love the most about being a photographer is getting to ask people questions.

My photography sessions often feel like podcast interviews, because I get to dive deep into the magic of the person I’m shooting. Sometimes I think I unconsciously designed my HEARTshots process for this very reason: to deeply connect with some of the smartest and most driven people on the planet.

These are people who take big risks, often leaving a stable, well-paying job in order to follow their dreams.

People who decided to step out into a life that was new and undiscovered.

People who are driven to have a positive impact on the lives of others.

People who stop at nothing, until their life is totally aligned with their values and passions.

People—like Lisa Da Rocha.

I learned so much from Lisa in the time we spent together, and I am still inspired by the experience. And I am so grateful that I get to use my time on earth supporting wonderful leaders like her.

6 QUESTIONS WITH LISA DA ROCHA

Describe your coaching approach in 2-3 sentences
I combine leadership, neuroscience and coaching principles in my work with executives. Leaders find purpose, build presence, strengthen relationships in order to have a powerful impact on their world.
Who is your favourite type of person to coach?
I work with business executives that lead with heart and courage. Leaders with a lifelong commitment to personal growth and having a positive impact on their teams and communities.
Name one of your favourite podcasts:
Coaches Rising (www.coachesrising.com/podcast)
What is the BEST advice you've ever received about coaching?
To be a phenomenal coach, you must be coached by phenomenal coaches.
Where are you most at peace?
In nature surrounded by mountains, trees and the sounds of Mother Earth.
When do you feel most alive?
Dancing pretty much anywhere there’s a good beat and some space to move.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH LISA

Website: www.lisadarocha.com

Instagram: @lisa.darocha

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lisadarocha

{CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTO}

Coach of The WeekDarius BasharOctober 8, 2019Coach of The WeekComment

How To Find Your Dream Clients in 90 Seconds (or Less)

Here’s one of my favourite and most effective secrets.

I use it to help people quickly find their dream clients before I photograph them.

What I love about this process is how simple it is. It cuts through all the overthinking and paralysis, and within minutes helps you get crystal clear on who your audience is for our photo session. And also for your overall brand and business too.

Who knew that a simple tool could help you laser in your focus on the people you are most capable of helping? Which of course, will also help you bring in profit faster.

PS:: I can’t say if this tip is effective across all industries and all business models. But I do know that it works for heart-centred thought leaders. So if you are a coach, speaker, author or entrepreneur, then this is for you.

Do you guys have any other tips on how to find your dream clients? I’d love to hear them in the comments below.

Tip TuesdaysDarius BasharOctober 8, 2019Tip Tuesdays, videosComment

Thank You Instagram

Instagram is amazing.

Yes, I know there are haters and trolls.

And yes, I know there’s plenty of toxic content that sucks us in.

But today? I don’t care about ANY of that.

Today I’m focused on how incredible it is that someone like Leesa Renée could find me, even among the 100 million other accounts on Instagram.

Through the miracle of the internet and social platforms like Instagram, Leesa discovered my page. And the next thing I know, she’s at my studio.

We instantly connected. We got to dive into several heartfelt conversations. We laughed. We talked about some serious topics. We even shared our dreams with one another. And Leesa generously enlightened me about how pervasive unconscious bias is in the workforce. (This is a subject matter that Leesa is an expert in.)

And then, just like two art school kids, we got to play and create something brand new—together. Something that did not exist prior to our meeting each other: photos of Leesa and her radiance.

When our playdate was done, we hugged and smiled and said goodbye, “Until next time.”

Tell me that isn’t freaking cool.

Thank you Leesa for shining so bright. Thank you for trusting me, thank you for showing up, and thank you for sharing your passion and your fire so generously with the world.

And thank you Instagram, for bringing someone like Leesa Renée into my life.