In 2015 my total income was $8,407. For the entire YEAR. It was a really tough transition year for me, but I didn’t tell anyone.
Then last month I shared a post about generating over $20,000 income in one month by working with my dream clients. This was a scary thing for me to share because I still had a lot of shame associated with money. Both from an “I suck at money!” standpoint and also from the perspective of “Will people hate me for making money?”
But the opposite was true. So many people reached out to me after that post to offer support and love. They opened up about where they were with regards to money. We supported each other. We celebrated each other. And I felt freer because I let people see the REAL me.
Now I can’t help but wonder… if talking about money needs to go through an evolution. Similar to what we’ve seen surrounding mental illness. (The two topics are most definitely not the same, but there’s lots to learn from each other.)
In North America, there are some promising initiatives in the past 10 years when it comes to having tough conversations about mental health. From Bell’s Let’s Talk initiative, to Movember, to See Me and Head Up. There are many that are making a real difference.
Now what if we did the same for money? Can we learn from the successes in mental health, and apply it to financial health?
So many of us struggle with money and growing debt. And lots of us suffer in silence due to shame and stigma. Lots of us have intergenerational money trauma (connected to our families) like bankruptcy, scarcity mindset, and trust issues.
And most of us don’t really have a clue how our peers are doing when it comes to money. Talking in specifics about the depth of our money challenges is seen as inappropriate. (Do you know how much debt your friends have? Do they know how much you have?)
There are people who are able to support us when it comes to money, but they can’t help if we don’t reach out and ask. Shame pushes us to stay quiet until we reach a breaking point.
But like most things in life, we are stronger together.
What if we lived in a world were you were allowed to unpack our hidden money stories? What if we could share our debt and our income specifics, so that we really knew where people were at and if and how we could support and celebrate each other?
My name is Darius.
My non-mortgage debt is $43,747.35.
There is $704.76 in my personal checking account.
I have $1,548.21 in my savings. This is the first year in my entire life I have had a savings account!
Last time I checked my credit score was 720, which I am told is really good. I think this is because I always pay my debt, but also because the banks and credit card companies make lots of money off of me.
I have experienced 4 family bankruptcies in my life and in many ways I think this trauma haunts me. I never talk about it because I feel that if people knew this hidden part of my story, they would judge me and never trust me again. I was less than 13 years old for all 4 bankruptcies, but a part of me carries it as my own personal shame.
My hope in sharing these specifics with you is to:
free myself from isolation created due to the shame and stigma
encourage others to have brave conversations
build community and support so that we can rise together
Do you see any similarities between money stigma and mental illness? And is there any hidden shame you are ready to release?
We are always stronger together.
PS: This post was inspired by Kathryn Ducey.
PPS: The photo in this post was taken by Faramarz Hashemi.
