laugh.
dance.
be light.
beloved,
you are the light.
we all are,
and one day soon,
we will return.
Where are all my Middle Eastern men?
Where are all my Asian men?
Where are all my African men?
Where are all my Latin men?
Where are all my Indigenous men?
Where are all my Caribbean men?
Where are all my South Asian men?
Powerful, ETHNIC men.
Brave and beautiful MEN OF COLOUR.
Where are you?!
Every day I get more men volunteering to be a part of my SoftMen book. I am so grateful for every brave man who throws his hat in the ring. Your courage, your commitment to growth—both personal and societal—is something I cherish and deeply respect.
But I am noticing a trend.
95% of the men volunteering to get naked in front of my camera are white men.
I love my white brothers. Their stories and their hearts are an important part of this journey, but this book and this movement needs to be about more than just white men.
The men I choose to include or not include in this book will make a statement.
The amazing SoftMen that exist in my life are so diverse, so eclectic and expansive. I want that to be represented in this book. This extends far beyond race. Sexual orientation, age, and body types are important to consider. There are others as well.
If you believe it’s important to celebrate the softness in ALL men, please tag or share this post with any men of colour that you believe would be a good fit.
And also, to my white brothers, keep reaching out. I want you here too. I want to continue sharing your stories and your hearts with the world. I just want to make sure there is space for all of us.
PS: I know there are other social identifiers of men that I am missing. Besides race, body type, age and sexual orientation, what other men would be important to include in a book about SoftMen?
For more on this project —> www.SoftMen.art
I just popped out of my morning meditation and had to share this story. I have not washed my face yet. Not brushed my teeth yet. It’s so fresh—I am literally in my pyjamas in this video and even as I type these words.
The last 24 hours have blown me away. There is certainly a lot more than just meditating that went into this, but without it I would not have gotten the $27,000. That’s for sure.
I share this story not to show off, but to inspire others to explore meditation and the power of belief and action.
Do you guys meditate? Have you ever experimented with using meditation as a magnet to pull in your dreams and goals? If so, please share. This stuff is so freaking cool!
I’m tired of seeing people who are fucking magical sit on the sidelines and dim their power.
This is literally the best thing I have ever offered. All of my most popular photo packages combined. The best, of the best, of the best of me.
I know amazing photos can grow your business, but this is going to be way more than that.
I am ready to rocket launch 10 people in 2020 into making 6-figures through social media.
I will do this by sharing everything I have learned while doing this for myself.
If you know me, you know I don’t keep any “secrets” to myself.
When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.
If you’re interested let me know and I’ll send you a link.
There are only 10 spots available in 2020.
Tomorrow I will ask a man to stand in front of my camera and strip it all away.
His clothing. His armour. His walls.
This brave man will be totally naked and exposed to the world.
As we embark on a totally new and unknown journey.
Tomorrow, I take my first portraits for my Soft Men book.
There are so many emotions building up for me. So many question marks.
There is also tremendous gratitude to The Universe for trusting me with this project.
And deep appreciation to this beautiful brave man who has volunteered to be Portrait 001.
I commit to showing up fully. To staying open.
I commit to (emotionally) meeting this brave man wherever he is.
I commit to power over force.
I commit to letting go of expectations and just flowing.
I commit to creating a safe space for both of us to release and heal.
I surrender to the grace and deep wisdom of The Universe.
I trust that she will take us where we need to go.
— — — —
If you want more information on this project or maybe you want to be one of the 50 Soft Men to be photographed in the book, you can go to www.softmen.art.
— — — —
PS: In case you were wondering, these photos are from a different project / photoshoot from last year. They are not part of my Soft Men book, but have a very similar essence to them. Soft Men Portrait 001 kicks off tomorrow.
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“I figured it all out. The answer is… self love! You’re welcome—”
—anyone else SICK of hearing this message?
I sure am. Every coach I work with, every talk I listen to, every book I read, it all goes back to the same solution:
SELF LOVE
But here’s my issue with this…
When people tell me the solution is to love myself, that gets me nowhere.
“Great, I already love myself. Now what?!”
Every single one of us already loves ourselves to some degree. Yet most of us want more love in our lives. More romantic love, more love at work, more love for our bodies, more money love in our bank accounts, more “love” for our content.
So what do we do?
The brilliant Adam Roa has a great quote about this. He says, “The degree in which we are able to receive love is directly correlated to our ability to love ourselves.”
What if instead of asking whether we love ourselves, a better question is HOW MUCH do we love ourselves? Maybe the real issue is that we have reached a maximum capacity for love in our lives.
Maybe… our “self love cup” is ready for an UPGRADE.
On today’s video I share a science experiment to demonstrate how limited I currently am in my life for love, and how overwhelmed and paralyzed it makes me feel. Can you relate?
Anyone out there got some wisdom to help me get out of this limiting and very wobbly place in my life? Your help is greatly appreciated.
Looking to hire a coach or join an online coaching program? Before you spend your time, energy, and hard-earned money, there are 3 important questions to ask your potential new coach:
1) How many people like me have you successfully coached in the past year? Ask for specific references you can contact.
2) Have you gone through your own program? And are you a living example of what’s possible? Ask them what metrics they use for success,\ (e.g. revenue, health goals, or relationship details).
3) Is there an active community that is a part of the coaching program? This is helpful because having peers to hold you accountable and to motivate you by just showing up is so powerful.
It’s no wonder why Rebecca Tracey’s online coaching program is blowing up. She scores really high on all 3 questions, and has worked with over 800 coaches and taken them through her tried and tested program.
She has a deep mastery of how to help and serve her niche audience. This focus has allowed her to grow her online coaching program into a near seven figure business AND gives her the incredible flexibility to travel and enjoy life from all over the world. That last part of freedom and flexibility is so key for me—what’s the point of making a ton of money if you have no time to enjoy it?!
Keeping crushing, it Becca!
8 QUESTIONS WITH REBECCA TRACEY
What is the BEST advice you've ever received about coaching?
You don't have to do shit you don't want to do. I implemented that immediately in my business and scrapped old programs, stopped wasting hours doing stuff like looking for images to include in blog posts, and stopped doing one-on-one coaching. So much freedom in owning what you want to do and giving yourself permission to scrap the rest.
Describe your coaching approach in 2-3 sentences:
I don't think things have to be as complicated as people make them. I believe in letting it be easy. And I believe that done is better than perfect.
What is the WORST advice you've ever received about coaching?
Follow your passions and the money will come. It's a lie lol. Passion fucks with a lot of people and I see a lot of coaches hiding behind passion as 1) a reason to procrastinate ("I'll really dive into my business ONCE i figure out exactly what I am passionate about") and 2) a reason to not learn marketing and sales ("if I just stay positive and passionate and stay high vibe, clients will resonate with me and want to hire me"). I have SO much to rant on about "passion" and it's role in your coaching business... but for now, let's leave it at: follow something that you reasonably like and are reasonably good at, learn how to market it and sell it, and THEN the money will come.
Name one thing that you are super excited about:
Moving to the mountains in BC next year! I have built myself a career that lets me live anywhere I want ("uncaged" and all, right?). It's time to say goodbye to city life and live surrounded by nature full time. My dog Rhubarb is so excited too!
Where are you most at peace?
Sitting at the top of a mountain, or overlooking a lake after a long, long hike.
Name one of your favourite podcasts:
Reply All -- it's about weird shit that happens on the internet. My favorite episode was one where they tracked down the head of a telemarketing scam and flew to India to investigate them. That two-part episode is called "Long Distance" if you want to go look it up!
What is the biggest challenge you are currently working on?
Building a team in my business and not freaking out about it. It's really scary paying people's full time salaries!
What's 1 training program that you highly recommend to coaches looking to level up?
(Mine? LOL) Uncage Your Business is the best training for new coaches to learn how to get clients and create a solid business foundation when they are first starting. Says the 800+ coaches that have taken it, not just me. After that, I think coaches mostly need specific business and marketing training. So many coaches hire LIFE coaches to help them, when they should be hiring marketing strategists! Having a coach ask you "how does that feel to you" or "what do YOU think are your next steps" is fine and has its place, but you also need someone to teach you what to actually do and how to build a business. I don't have ONE recommendation specifically, because it depends on what skills you already have and where you are lacking. Usually coaches have two main struggles after getting clear on their foundations: 1) converting prospects to clients 2) getting more visible. So focusing on whichever of those areas you need most is a good bet!
HOW TO CONNECT WITH REBECCA
Website: www.theuncagedlife.com
Instagram: @rebeccatracey
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1. I hid behind the brilliance of other people.
I used to caption my photos on social media with lyrics from badass songs and Rumi quotes. I was so caught up in looking “cool” that I ended up hiding my heart behind other people’s brilliance. Ultimately, didn’t allow my audience to feel close to the real me because I was afraid of what people would think.
2. I focused on the wrong metrics.
3 years ago I got twice as many likes per post as I do today. But 3 years ago, I was making $5,000 a month as a photographer, and this year I am averaging $15k per month. As likes went down, profit went up. When I started to focus on bringing real value to the lives of a niche audience, I connected more deeply with my dream clients. It took a couple bruises to my ego to learn this lesson.
3. I searched for the perfect words.
I added all sorts of fancy words because I badly want to be understood and respected. But each word created distance between my heart and the audience. I now know that the TRUTH is not in the words you use; it’s what you feel in your heart. And the closer your audience feels to your heart, the faster you can work with them.
4. I didn’t take enough risks.
There’s a direct correlation between content that nauseates me and content that leads to paid bookings from my dream client. In fact, my most profitable post this year is the one where I shared that I have $43,000+ of debt. If you would have told me this last year, I’d call you crazy. But as it turns out, knowing that I am REAL matters just as much as my ability to take great photos.
5. I asked for money too often.
Last year, every post had an ask. It wasn’t forceful; just a part at the bottom of each post that had a call to action to my promo for that month. I’ve stopped doing this for 80% of my posts. My philosophy changed here: I focus on delivering SO MUCH VALUE that my audience feels inspired to contact me. And before we talk about my current promo, I want us to talk about life first. By the time we’re ready to talk about photos, the conversation is less about “Should I book?” and more about “When will I book?”
Have you made any of these mistakes too? Please tell me it's not just me. Share your fave from my list above or share your own below, so that we can all grow together. #strongtogether
Moments after she finished giving a talk to 2,000 people, I met Lisa Nichols for the first time.
For anyone who’s given a talk before, you can imagine that’s a really interesting time to meet someone. Let alone take their photos.
It was backstage at the 2019 Archangel Summit. When she opened the door to the area where we set up our portrait studio, a wave of energy came rushing into the room. Instantly I felt peace and calm through my entire body.
After a few seconds I snapped into photographer mode. I shook her hand and jumped into explaining what type of photos we were taking.
But Lisa wasn’t ready to talk about photos yet. There were 3 other people on my team she had not personally met.
So before we began, she walked over to each one of my assistants and shook all of their hands. She looked into their eyes and shared her sincere warmth and presence with each person. Then Lisa sat down for a few moments as our hair and makeup artist, Lisa Arsenault gave her a post-talk touch up.
That’s when Lisa and I had a conversation that lasted only a few minutes, but left a profound impact on my life.
I felt seen and witnessed in a way that allowed me to access my highest self.
She asked me a question early on in the conversation, “What’s your thing Darius? You have a really unique energy and I can tell you’re more than a photographer.”
This opened up a powerful conversation that I’ll never forget. This brief but poignant exchange of words meant so much to me.
Being in the presence of Lisa’s power lifted me to a new vibration.
We only had a short time together to take photos on that day, but I will never forget the first time I met Lisa Nichols.
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My brother, we were right this whole time.
The Infinite, she is real.
I found her, on a Tuesday afternoon, on the edge of a hospital bed.
The truth is, cancer saved my life.
It's not too late to join me, brother.
Everything you ever wanted,
all your wildest dreams,
are here on the other side of that mask.