In the past 3 years I have shared over 500 posts and somehow I have never, not once, gotten a single negative comment.

Not until very recently.

(I am 100% sure people had plenty of negative thoughts about my content, but not to the point of actually publicly sharing them.)

Well, I received my first negative comment from a stranger.

Shortly after, I received 2 more. But these ones came from close family.

All 3 negative comments were about my SoftMen posts.

Many of you have asked for an update on my SoftMen project. The truth is, I have lots of photos and writing to share, but I have been scared to do so.

It was the beginning of a downward spiral. I couldn’t understand what had happened. Why was I so fragile? I had hundreds of positive responses and only 3 negative comments and all of the sudden, all my forward moving energy came to a halt.

Then after a few deep meditations and lots of journalling I realized what had happened.

Sharing photos of amazing and beautiful humans is tough to publicly disagree with. But much of the SoftMen content is inherently different than my photography business content. SoftMen brings up a lot of hidden fear that sits right under our societal masks of progressiveness. People still equate softness to weakness, people still have dormant homophobia, people still have fear of rattling the cage.

There are a lot of potential areas of tension and conflict. There is a lot of new territory and new learning for me, which means I will likely stumble and trip several times. I will look like a fool and make mistakes, but if that means I can get closer to creating a space to support and celebrate amazing, kind, generous, beautiful and powerful men, then so be it.

The level of support for me and this project has blown me away. Thank you for caring so much, and for not letting me hide. 

It’s time to continue sharing SoftMen photos, writings, podcasts and videos. Next week I will share with you some amazing photos I took of my dear friend Micha Edwards. (Here’s a sneak peek of 3 photos.) Follow the link below for the naked SoftMen podcast Micah and I recorded a few days prior to our photoshoot.

PODCAST LINK → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsKHMFPLbVg&feature=youtu.be

If you like the podcast and would like to support the SoftMen project please hit Subscribe on the YouTube link.

If you’d like to be one of the SoftMen or know of a SoftMan that would be perfect for this project please visit www.softmen.art to apply.

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Sometimes people come into our lives and bring us tremendous kindness, love and safety. 

These humans leave such a profound impact on us. They teach us. They protect us. They provide for us. 

Like all things in life, these people can’t stay with us forever. When it’s time to leave, our hearts ache with feelings of helplessness that swallow us whole.

Sometimes the pain is so unbearable that we make a decision to never allow ourselves to feel this much love for another person again.

We fortify our hearts from the rest of the world and close ourselves off.

But we can also choose to stay open.

We breathe. We sit with the pain. We go all the way through, our entire body shaking in fear. Our eyes are full of tears, but we keep them open.

We choose to find a way, some miraculous way, to keep our hearts open to the world.

We choose to love, to explore and wonder, even knowing that we will once again feel pain.

Because maybe pain is simply the bill at the end of an amazing meal. Maybe it’s just proof that we experienced something marvelous and rare.

And instead of focusing on how much it cost, we can remember how delicious each plate tasted. We can remember how beautiful our beloveds looked, how much we laughed and how deeply we shared stories with one another.

Do you know what generates more profit and grows my business faster than anything else I’ve ever done? Creating and sharing social media content from my heart. But before I can dive into the writing process and let my heart sing, I focus my energy by asking myself the following 6 questions:

1. Is there a clear deadline for the post? 

Without a deadline, nothing gets done. In order to stay consistent, create a deadline for yourself and make it unmovable. 

2. Can you make the post shorter?

It’s easy to fall in love with your own ideas, but don’t get too attached to your words. The shorter your post, the clearly your message. 

3. Who are you talking to? 

You can’t speak heart-to-heart to a demographic. Your answer to this question should be a person, not an audience. To sound more conversational in your writing, picture a specific person on the receiving end of your post.

4. Are you formatting for social media? 

Avoid writing one giant blob of text and hitting publish. Break up your content into paragraphs and it’ll be much easier to read.

5. Do you have an amazing photo or graphic for your post? 

This is easier than you think. There are so many amazing tools out there, many of which are free. My favourites are Unsplash and Canva. 

6. What value does your post provide? 

• Education: Something your reader can implement in their life. 

• Entertainment: Make your readers laugh, put them on the edge of their seats, or show them something beautiful. 

• Personal Story: Bring your reader closer to your heart by sharing a very personal story about your life. 

• Celebrate: You can celebrate your wins—or better yet, celebrate your community! (This is the concept behind my Coach of the Week content.) 

• Offers: Don’t forget to share your magic with the world. If you really believe in the value of your skills and know you can be of service to others, please don’t hold back! I try to make an offer once every 2 weeks. 

Hopefully this checklist was helpful. I want you to succeed and so does the Universe. 

I was born in Iran in 1982. This was 3 years after the Islamic Revolution.

My family did not agree with the radical shift in how the country was governed. My mother was passionately against it. So my parents decided we MUST leave all of our family and friends and move halfway across the planet to Canada.

We didn't know anyone. We didn't speak the language. We didn't have much, but we had peace and safety.

Most of my family remained in Iran: hundreds of cousins, aunts, and uncles. So despite growing up fully immersed in Canadian culture, I still felt a connection to Iran.

A lot of really scary things are happening in the world lately.

A lot of escalating tension. 

How do I keep going with my privileged Canadian life when so many people are hurting? 

How do I continue taking photos of beautiful smiling humans when there is so much pain throughout the rest of the world? 

One part of me wants to take it all in and be paralyzed by my fear and hopelessness.

Another part of me wants to put a wall around my heart and not let any of it in, pretending it will all go away if I don’t think about it. 

But I have played both of these extremes before. Neither works. 

Neither serves me or my community.

Neither is my deepest truth.

Because what I really want is to help. I want to make a difference. I am not yet sure how, but I know that staying quiet is not the path forward. 

To the 176 innocent lives that were lost during this horrific tragedy, I pay my deepest respect. You did not deserve this. 

You were caught in the middle of two powerful children fighting over nonsense. 

Children with access to bombs and drones and media that will spread their hatred and lies. 

To the families of the victims, my heart aches for you. Something so precious and dear was stolen from you in an instant. When I actually give myself a moment to sit with this tragedy, it steals my breath.

I am not sure what else I can do, but I do know that I am here. I have a voice. I can fight for what’s right. And I can hold space for fellow humans who are suffering.

Hello beautiful humans.

If you have 30 seconds I could use your opinion. Can you help?

I want to make content that connects with you. Instead of guessing, this week I thought I’d ask.

If you have a sec, take a peek at the 10 ideas below and let me know which one you want to see next week.

1. Tips to help you take better self-portraits.

2. Tips on how to be more natural in front of the camera. 

3. A personal post about my relationship with Jenn.

4. More naked men photos from the SoftMen project.

5. Beautiful fashion photography photos. 

6. Tips on how I used social media to generate $15k a month last year.

7. A goofy dancing video.

8. A video tour of my studio.

9. A video about my morning routine. 

10. An intimate story about photographing famous people.

Leave me a comment with which one is your fave. Feel free to add multiple numbers if you want to see more than one.

Thanks for your support.

PS: If you have another idea of something you want me to post about next week, feel free to share the suggestion in the comments or send me a direct message.

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This is my friend Sophie. 

She’s a trainer. She’s a coach. She’s an osteopath.

But what’s most important (in my opinion) is that she is a giant ball of LOVE. 

I am sure, like all of us, Sophie could find plenty to feel shitty about. Things that didn’t go as she planned, people who have let her down, goals she could not meet, etc.

But Sophie consistently chooses to focus on the brighter side of life. 

Of course she’s human, and nobody can stay positive 100% of the time... but Sophie gets pretty close.

I had a blast during our shoot at Academy of Lions and can’t wait to laugh and play together again.

Keep shining your light Soph. The world needs it, especially now.

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Finding a photographer to work with is not as simple as looking for someone who takes beautiful photos. You also need to consider if working with this person will help you grow your impact and your business.

If you’re thinking about having your photos taken in 2020, I want you to have a great experience and to feel good about the decision you’ve made. I’ve put together a couple points to help you find the photographer who is right for you.

Here’s a list of 16 questions you can ask yourself before hiring a photographer:

1. Do I love their photos? (If not, keep searching.)

2. Do they work with leaders in my field? (Check their portfolio.)

3. Will their style of photography connect with my audience / potential clients?

4. Will our personalities work well together?

5. What is their process for taking the best photos possible? (Do they have a process?)

6. Will the photographer take time to understand and know me as a person?

7. Will the photographer take time to understand my goals for these photos?

8. How long will we shoot for? (There’s a big difference between 15 minutes and 5 hours.) 

9. Where will we shoot? (Do they have a studio? Does the location fit my brand?) 

10. Will they guide me on how to prepare for the shoot? 

11. How many photos will I receive in the end?

12. How many of the photos I receive will be retouched or edited?

13. What is their editing style like? (Some photographers can over-edit.)

14. How long will it take them to get me the final photos after the shoot? 

15. Am I free to use the photos any way I like?

16. Do they have testimonials from real humans I know and respect? 

These questions will help you discover whether working with this photographer will get you closer to your goals. Feel free to save this post and refer back to it at a later date.

Happy #TipTuesday everyone!

Me: How many talks have you done at this point? 

Seth: Over 10,000. 

Me: Do you still get nervous? 

Seth: No, not really. 

Me: How many talks did it take to stop being nervous? 

Seth. About 200. 

Me: How long did it take you to do 200 talks? 

Seth: 2 years. 

Me: So freaking cool.

I was nervous to photograph Seth Godin. Let’s be honest, he’s a legend in the thought leadership space. He’s written over 19 best-selling books, including many that have changed my life. Based on his massive success, I assumed Seth would be difficult to work with. 

The exact opposite was true. He was kind, funny and generous. Also very sincere and grounded. My whole team had a blast working with Seth. We got to asked him all sorts of questions. He did not hold back; I was surprised by his openness and candor.

After the photoshoot Seth stuck around for a while to talk about life and told us some amazing stories about his childhood. Before he left, Seth asked for all of our mailing addresses and promised to ship the entire team one of his newest books, which is currently not available to the public. 

Before I met Seth, a part of me still held on to the belief that the people at the top of their fields didn’t have time for people like me. But in the end, we all walked away thinking what a remarkable dude.

After that experience, I realized that these people are just like me.

It turns out you don’t have to give up your goodness to be great.

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Yesterday was an emotionally intense day for me.

So today I just want to be light and remember how much love and joy exists in my life. 

Happy holidays, beautiful humans.

Thank you for being a part of my journey, and for all the love, support and hilarity you bring to my life. 

I love you.

D

This video is really hard for me to watch. It’s from exactly 10 years ago today.

I made 30 videos in the 30 days leading up to my 27th birthday. My goal was to inspire others to step out of their own comfort zones and share their hearts too. 

I honestly had no idea what I was doing. But I felt something inside of me that so badly wanted to be expressed.

When I completed the 30-day challenge and realized how far I was from my comfort zone, I had the biggest vulnerability hangover of my life. These videos didn’t go viral or make me famous, so I assumed the project was a failure and that nobody liked me.

A voice in my head told me, “Nobody gives a shit. Now shut up and promise you’ll never do that again!”

Ouch! 

To protect myself from feeling this ashamed and embarrassed ever again, I made myself smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing from video for almost 9 years.

I didn’t even know I was hiding. I did not want to admit it. I tried to forget the whole thing ever happened. 

It has taken me a lot of work to be able to record and share videos weekly like I do now. A LOT OF WORK. It’s easy to forget about the work—which includes this 30-day video challenge—because it hurts to look back.

When I hear myself speak in these old videos I can feel all the ways I was holding back. I can see how I was trying to be someone I thought the world wanted, and not who I really was.

I remember these videos as being a massive failure. But the truth is, these videos were massive stepping stones that needed to happen to get me to where I am today. And while a part of me still feels uncomfortable looking back, and I cringe at how nasally his voice sounds (and this is one of the better videos from this series), I am grateful for the work that younger Darius put in.

For his courage.

For his heart.

And of course, for his thick head of hair. ;)