Darius Bashar
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Toronto Portrait Photographer || HEARTshots || Black + White Photography

Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate. 

Darius Loves Darius

Last week I started a secret photography project.

A private instagram page for an audience of one...

Myself.

I rarely write or take photos just for me.

Every day I posted a selfie and I wrote a love note dedicated to “my human”—that’s what I call my physical body. 

I did my best to imagine my human as an entirely separate person. Someone I loved and cherished. Someone infinitely important to my life. I am so good at supporting and believing in others, I wanted to do the same for him.

Because I knew no one would read these posts, I was able to say things that I normally wouldn’t be brave enough to share. 

  • Some days it was easy to say kind and loving things to my human. Other days I felt silly, vain and fake. 

  • Some days I would speak from my heart about a specific body part that was in the photo and tell my human how beautiful he was. 

  • Some days I would apologize for being shitty to him in the past. 

  • Some days I would tell him the impact he has had on my life. 

  • Some posts were just a few words — that’s why I call them love notes and not love letters.

By reminding myself that these love notes are just for me, it sparked my creativity and helped me reconnect with my heart on a deeper, more intimate level.

My only considerations were:

 → Do I love the photo? 
→ Do I feel expressed? 
→ Am I proud of it? 
→ Do I feel seen? 

If the answer to these questions were yes, then I walked away feeling connected to my human, to my heart and to the Universe. It is such a liberating feeling to make content for an audience of one; myself. 

Here are a few examples of photos I took last week. Don’t worry; I checked in with my human first to see if he was okay with me sharing them. He said yes. :)

CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTOS

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Cheryl Keates (Coach of The Week)

We all go through hard times in life. Moments where our resolve is challenged. Moments where it feels like everything we hold true is somehow in doubt.

How we respond to these moments can define our lives. It’s where we experience the greatest potential for growth. I believe this is a major part of why we are here on Earth: to step into these challenges and to get the fullest human experience possible. 

A few years back Cheryl went through a really challenging time in her life when a loved one got very sick. She dutifully gave all she had to looking after this family member, but in doing so found herself isolated from the rest of the world.

Sometimes when you fall out of flow it can feel really hard to get back into the swing of things. I experienced this in January after the recent passing of my aunt and grandmother. 

It took courage for Cheryl to say yes to doing a shoot with me.

It took courage for her to step back into the spotlight, but based on how things are going with her business, I’d say it was a very wise decision.

I for one am thrilled she is sharing her magic with the world. 

5 QUESTIONS WITH CHERYL KEATES

  1. Describe your coaching approach in 2-3 sentences.

    I take a holistic approach to coaching. That means coaching the whole person instead of just one area of their life, since all areas of life affect one another. I truly believe that the more balanced and fulfilled we are, the better we perform in all areas of life.

  2. Who is your favourite type of person to coach?

    I love working with driven professionals and entrepreneurs with BIG DREAMS. They are so eager to learn and grow and are courageous enough to step into the forum of self-discovery to deepen their awareness in order to make a bigger impact.

  3. Share the name of one coach or mentor that has impacted your life:

    Susie Vicencio. She taught me the power of tapping into my most resourced self.

  4. Where are you most at peace?

    Walking in nature with my dogs. I just love witnessing the joy on their faces when being free to explore.

  5. Name one thing that you are super excited about:

    I am building a platform to make coaching more accessible to people and I get so excited at the thought of being able to help impact many more lives on a greater scale.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH CHERYL

Website: www.cherylkeates.com

Instagram: @cherylkeates

(CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTOS)

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How To Light Your Next Selfie (#TipTuesday )

As human beings we’re constantly changing, and sometimes it’s nice to look back at photos and remember how far we have come.

For today’s #TipTuesday I want to share one super simple tip to help you better light your next selfie (or even your next Instagram or Facebook video). If it has been a long time since you took a photo of yourself, remember to be gentle and patient with the process.

Bad lighting will: 

  1. distract your audience

  2. make you look tired

  3. discourage you from wanting to take photos or videos of yourself in the future

Good lighting will help you: 

  1. look more professional

  2. look more attractive

  3. feel better about yourself

And when you feel better you are more willing to take up space and let your light shine. 

You don’t need fancy equipment; I made today’s video with my phone. And let’s be honest—most of the new smart phones have incredible cameras.

Just remember that while photos are a great way to grow your business and your brand, they can also be a deeply personal experience. You can do it just for yourself, to document your life.

So have fun, create beautiful things and celebrate yourself as often as possible.

Love, Light + Laughter, 

D

PS: I am curious… how many photos of yourself (aka Selfies) did you take in 2019? How many do you want to take in 2020?

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Capacity
“The abyss can swallow you up whole.

So stretch my darling,

and swallow the abyss instead.”
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Everything Is A Canvas 
Your morning coffee
Your yoga mat
Your text message
Your prayer
Your outfit
Your stride
Your email
Your breath
The neck of your lover
The insides of your lover

Everything is a canvas
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12 Tricks To Help you Get Creatively Unstuck

This morning I looked through my old journals and noticed something unusual.

Consistently over the years, my writing in February is full of doubt and uncertainty.

I just can’t seem to find that magical creative flow that I love dancing with, and I don’t feel the deep connection to my heart that I’ve gotten so used to.

I recently spoke with the president and CEO of one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in Canada and he told me that there is a big spike in pharmaceutical products used to treat depression in February.

I don’t know what it is about this month, but it seems like I’m not the only one having a tough go. So for today’s post I wanted to share 12 practical things I do that help me get unstuck. 

Last week I implemented many of these tips and it definitely helped. But honestly I still faced a lot of internal frustration and resistance, wanting to give up many times. If this happens to you, my loving suggestion is to do the simplest, smallest thing you can manage to create a bit of movement. 

Be gentle with yourself and remember that there is a good chance you’re not feeling this way alone. 

12 Tricks to help you Get Creatively Unstuck

  1. Take a shower → Wash away old, heavy lingering energy.

  2. Move your body → Even a 5-minute yoga flow is a good start.

  3. Write in your journal → I use a great app called Journey for this.

  4. Clean your space → Clutter is bad for your mental health.

  5. Clip your nails → Can’t explain this one but it works.

  6. Clear your email inbox → Like I said in #4, clutter shuts your flow down.

  7. Walk in nature → This is hard, because when you’re stuck you won’t want to leave the house.

  8. Meditate → This is a great way to find your centre again. 

  9. Talk to a friend → Movement creates momentum, but if you’re too tired to move your body, simply move your voice instead. 

  10. Tell someone you’re stuck → A lack of creative movement can be overwhelming, making it even harder to get unstuck. Disrupt that immediately.

  11. Make something just for you → It doesn’t have to be anything complicated. It can be as simple as taking few photos, or writing a short poem just for yourself. 

  12. Check in with your heart → Ask your heart if it has a message for you and just listen. This one actually takes a lot of courage to do. 

That’s what I got for now, but I’m sure there’s lots more. So if you have any quick and easy tips that help you get unstuck and create momentum, leave your suggestion here and I’ll try it out. 

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My Forever Art Project

Dear human,

You are art.

Even when you can’t find the words to speak.

Even when you are unable to send a single work email.

Even when you can’t be in the same room with people you love because you feel introverted AF. 

Somehow, despite it all, you are still a stroke of brilliance.

Yours forever,

Darius

#loveletterstomyself #selflove #SoftMen

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What You Came Here For

“When you came here, you came here with a sense of awe and wonder, dying to just see what it’s all about.

 You know, it’s like, what would it be like? To be down there? To be part of it? 

And you came here with a sense of wonder, and somehow the wonder of it wasn’t enough and we stopped wondering and started to wonder about ourselves. 

And in your wondering about yourself, you forgot what you came here for, what you came to be a part of.”

- by Burgs from Beyond the Veil

I am not sure who Burgs is, but I found his words featured in this Mt. Wolf song and they’ve impacted me greatly.

They bring me back to my centre.

They remind me of the bigger picture.

They help me stop stressing about things that don’t really matter.

What a gift. Thank you mysterious man. Time to do some Googling on who you are and take a deeper dive.

Also, big love to Mt. Wolf for their beautiful song.

————

Here’s the YouTube video with the song in case you wanted to see it. But to be honest, the full 7-minute Mt. Wolf song is way better than this abridged video.

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A Slow-Moving Train Is still a moving train

This morning I got to my computer and couldn’t find any words to share.

I couldn’t write.

I love what I do and I adore all the amazing people I work with. But even though there is so much beauty in my life, some days a part of me feels heavy and resistant. So this morning I daydreamed about deleting all my social media accounts and moving somewhere hot with plenty of beaches and mangos. 

Doubt and uncertainty show up often in my life, and I am pretty sure they will travel with me till the end of my journey. Feelings of doubt are true for so many of us, but I think they are especially present for artists, entrepreneurs, and creators—people who take risks.

This morning when I didn’t want to write, I reminded myself that it’s okay to feel and experience these feelings as they come.

Feelings of doubt and uncertainty are not the enemy.

But I need to remember that these feelings are also not the Truth. 

And on the days when I want to stop everything, it’s important to keep showing up. To keep expressing and to keep the train moving.

(Even if that means on certain days the train will be moving way slower.)

Because a slow-moving train will still get you where you want to go.

Anyone else feeling extra resistance these past few days? It can’t just be me. What’s your plan to keep the train moving?

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30-Day Self Love Experiment

Hello beautiful humans! Today I’m starting a 30-day experiment around Self Love.

The idea is to express, explore and create without first going through a filter of “What will other people think?” or “How will this impact my business?”

Here’s how it works: 

  • Step 1: Open a new (free) Instagram account. 

  • Step 2: Make sure it is private. All posts are for your eyes only. 

  • Step 3: Take 1 photo of yourself every single day for 30 days. 

  • Step 4: In the description of each photo, share words of kindness, support and love for your human.

  • Step 5: Do NOT share these posts with anyone else. No hashtags, no account tags.

This is not a marketing or business exercise; these are love letters to your human. It is important to keep the account private so that you feel safe enough to go as deep as you can.

Bonus points if you can get creative with the photos and your words.

You don’t need to take the exact same photo every day. If you feel brave enough, you may discover different parts of your body that maybe never get to be seen on camera. See if you can love those parts too. 

Everyone has their own limits, their own comfort zone. You don’t need to compare or judge where your personal edge is; just go as far as you can and feel what’s there for you. 

  • Maybe there are some apologies that need to be shared between you and your human. 

  • Maybe there is something you have always wanted to say to yourself.  

  • Maybe your human has a message for you. 

  • It doesn’t need to be all serious. You can laugh and play and dance too. 

When the 30 days are done, if you want you can delete the entire account—or not.

But the point is that NO ONE ELSE will ever see these posts. They are intimate love notes from you to your human.

Anyone else want to play, explore and create for 30 days? Direct message me or leave a comment below if you are interested.

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