The Universe gave each of us a gift on our pre-birth-day. Some of us buried that gift into the back of our closet, like a sweater that we forgot we possessed. Others chose to wear it proudly every day.

It's important to remember that each gift was given to us for a reason. We were meant to share our gifts with the world. We were meant to use our gifts to bring more light into the lives of others. Our gifts were never meant to sit in the dark, alone.

Once we tap into the divine purpose of our gifts, the Universe smooths out everything else. All resistance falls away and things just start to flow.

Amazing how much you can do when you have trust. 

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“At best we are just a vessel for Her greatness.
At worst, just a vessel, for Her greatness. ”

A voice whispered in my ear, as I was about to fall asleep last night.

"To embrace your greatness, you must let that part of you die that obsesses with being fully understood. You are a wine that is not for every tongue. Celebrate your uniqueness and do not waste what precious time you have left, making yourself bland, just so you'd be more appealing to the masses. Let go of that desire to please. There is nothing for you out there.

What you seek, has already been found.

Take a breath. Close your eyes.

It was there, hiding in plain sight, all this time."

I see you brother. I see the fire in your eyes. It's time you let your light come out and play.

This was my first time shooting a fashion campaign with all natural light. Finding the light and getting it to dance with the shadows, was an incredible experience. Doing it, all in a manner that would hold-up to the high standards required of a fashion campaign, was challenging, to say the least - but also truly exhilarating.

There is something so real and immediate about natural light. Shaping it feels like a lucid dream. You look left. You look right. Then something peculiar catches your attention. Something calls you towards it. You find the light and then you find its opposite - the shadow. Then somehow you convince the two to come together (and hopefully) create something new and beautiful. 

So fucking cool. 

The Moment holds no space for judgement. Notions of good and bad are meaningless to The Moment. Morality is meaningless to The Moment. Any activity that allows you to observe The Moment is sacred.

Such activities include: death, orgasim, creation, meditation, near life/death experiences, intense physical strain, etc. 

There is a special relationship between existence and The Moment. Perhaps they are friends with benefits, fornicating behind the scenes, when no one is looking. Or maybe, one is a figment of the others imagination. 

MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: 

When I first launched my portrait series in February, Dan Hashemi was one of the first people to reach out to me to book a session. I remember that initial conversation because Dan had a terrible fever and really wasn't feeling well. I told him it was okay with me to reschedule our call, but he was adamant that we continue with the meeting. His reasoning was simple, but deep. He told me one of his resolutions for 2017 was to honor his commitments more than in previous year. Although he shared this thought very casually, in-passing and neither of us made a big deal about it - those words resonated with me. 

A few hours after our conversation Dan ended up in the hospital due to that fever. The flu can be very dangerous. I remember thinking how committed Dan was to his resolution. I respected that. I also remember thinking that something inside of Dan was unwilling to postpone our call. Something inside of him was fighting hard to be set free. 

Fast forward to the day before our shoot. I get an email from Dan saying he has a really bad neck pain and that he's not sure he will be able make the shoot. Normally, I would of suggested rescheduling. Portraits are meant to be a boatload of fun and need to be really playful. The last thing I wanted is someone to be in pain during our session. I was about to go into another shoot and did not have time to fully reply. The last thing I texted Dan was that I will leave it up to him to decide if he was able to make it. 

At the end of my shoot that night, I reached for my phone to finally reply to Dan. I remember getting this feeling that it was really important for Dan to show up. I made a decision to text Dan and tell him that if his neck was still hurting, we can reschedule, but that he should still come over tomorrow and we can just hang out as friends. No photos, just catching up. I knew he had a legit neck issue, but I also knew that the mind is a very powerful tool. Something in Dan's mind was resistant to having his portrait taken. In my opinion that (mental) resistance was now backed up against a wall due to Dan's NYE resolution, so it had no choice but to manifest physically in Dan's body. The neck being a clever location for that resistance to travel to, considering we were scheduled to shoot portraits the next day. 

Before I could text Dan about my idea of just hanging out, he messaged me saying, let's do this! He fought through the resistance and doubled down on his resolution. I instantly had a smile on my face, as I read that message and knew he made the right decision. 

The moment his mental blockage realized that Dan wasn't messing around it began to release the tension in his neck. He also treated his neck pain with heat packs and herbal teas throughout the night, which I'm sure helped as well, but in my head I like to believe the release was mostly due to his resolve. The resistance knew Dan was serious and had no choice but to concede. 

The next day Dan showed up and honestly we had one of the most fun shoots of my life. We laughed so hard that we both cried. My abs (yes, I still have abs somewhere in there) were on fire. 

I never told Dan this, but he inspired me to adopt his NYE resolution for myself.

Imagine the possibilities, if each year we showed up a little bit more than the last. 

ONE LESSON FROM THIS SHOOT:

Sometimes resistance is a really good indicator of a breakthrough ready to happen. 

 

MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: 

I remember the first time I met Andrea. It was at a TEDxToronto programming meeting in 2013. I remember her intelligence and strength filling up the room. It was undeniable and sometimes even intimidating.

It took 3 more years until our hearts would officially meet, on a hot summer's day, in a magical cabin full of friends. 

It's a profound experience to really see someone. It can be terrifying and at the same time there is nothing more liberating. It bonds you forever. It's that moment when you shed body, ego and all notions of self. Then, all at once you see the Universe in their eyes and you see yourself in the Universe.

When I think back at our shoot, I remember witnessing the battle between Andrea's mind and heart. This struggle comes up during every single shoot, but Andrea's was unique in that her sharply tune mind was working overtime to get ahead of me. Anticipating what I was about to ask and doing it before I could even finished my sentence. This skill can be very helpful in our lives and careers. It allows us to impress people and move quickly through our days. Here's the thing, moving quickly is meaningless to a timeless soul. 

I needed Andrea to rest her mind, so that our hearts could finally play.

The mind is like a loving, but overbearing parent. It's afraid that if it lets go and allows us to play in the world, we might get hurt, so it uses all sorts of tricks to protect us, but doesn't realize how much it's actually holding us back. 

As the shoot continued, Andrea's mind eventually tired out and like an over worked parent finally gave-in.  "Okay darling, go play. I know you're safe here and I know you'll be okay." That's what I imagined Andrea's mind said to her heart.

Then, it happened again. I got to see the Universe in Raven's eyes and it was truly beautiful. 

ONE LESSON FROM THIS SHOOT:

Really smart people require more work to rest their minds. Don't give up on them or yourself. Be patient. Be loving, but also be tenacious. 

MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: 

Things started slower than usual during Nick's shoot. Sometimes this happens. My style of shooting portraits is not based on time, but rather energy and flow. With my fashion photography and commercial work, Time is such a constant and intimidating presence. When everyone on set is getting paid by the hour, it has to be. Letting go of time during larger fashion shoots, could be a very costly decision. 

With portraits, I cherish that I can create a space and experience that intentionally lets go of time. As adults we have been trained to be masters of time. This is a skill that can be very helpful in our careers and day-to-day lives. My portraits are an invitation to temporarily substitute time with play. I believe both can't simultaneously co-exist. When we truly let go and play, time becomes irrelevant. This is because Time is a construct of the mind, whereas Play belongs to the heart. 

I remember getting a sense from Nick early on, that he was a bit concerned that we weren't moving as fast as he'd like. He wasn't rude or anything close to that. He was actually very kind and patient. He didn't directly mention it, but my spidey senses were going off that he was very aware of time. I could of picked up the pace, but my heart knew we weren't there yet. So we continued to explore and connect together. We listened to music, talked about his 16 year son and listened to some 90's hip hop and laughed. Pretty much the opposite of picking up the pace. :)

Then there was this moment towards the end of the shoot, when Nick suggested grabbing some photos with his jacket. The very moment he put the jacket on, I swear I felt like we both travelled 20+ years back in time. He instantly started channelling some new and very playful emotions. I was loving every moment.

ONE LESSON FROM THIS SHOOT:

From now on I'm going to invite people to join me in play and take off their watches and turn off their phones. Not everyone will take me up on this invitation, but for those who do...