Darius Bashar
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Toronto Portrait Photographer || HEARTshots || Black + White Photography

Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate. 

10 Years of Wrinkles

Technology and society have made it eaiser than ever before to remove wrinkles from our photos. With a few clicks we can insantly remove 10 years of wrinkles from our face. 

What does this say about us? 

Are we trying to pretend the last 10 years never happened? As if, none of it mattered?

Each life is impacted by both love and heartache. The two are necessities of the human condition. Each impact leaves an impression both on our hearts and on our bodies. By asking to remove these impressions (or wrinkles) from our bodies and faces, are we also asking to remove them from our existence?

To me each wrinkle stands as a proud manifesto to the world and to ourselves that we exist. We matter. We are not perfect and never will be, but we can be whole. In fact, we have always been whole. We just needed a reminder.

Each wrinkle, proof of both the beauty and fragility of this thing we call life.

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Flow Energy

I have been doing this for the last 60 days and it has radically changed my life. That said, even after 60 days of living her message of "flowing energy", my human brain still doesn't "get it" and can't help but judge and put her words down.

The difference between me now and me 60 days ago, is that now I stand outside of my thoughts and observe them as they unfold. I don't fight my mind as it struggles to understand her through the limiting belief of logic. I don't become my thoughts and emotions as they inevitibly try to disprove her. I rise above my mind and let the energy flow through me.

It's both the easiest and most difficult thing I have ever done.

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Wanderlust

"There's a race of men that don't fit in, 
A race that can't sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood, 
And they climb the mountain's crest; Their's is the curse of the gypsy blood, 
And they don't know how to rest."

- Robert W. Service

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Meditation

Lull the Body to sleep. Free the Mind to wander. Then, with those two preoccupied, the Soul can finally sneak through the back door and play in The Infinite.

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Old Men

What I really wanted to say is "you only have a few years of life left (if that), how do you want to spend them? What do you want your remaining days on earth to stand for?" but instead I say "how's business?"

We both know this path ends abruptly with many regrets and a deep sense of loneliness.

Beliefs harden and become much heavier as you get older. Decades of reinforcement can eventually make them immovable.  

This both saddens and frustrates me. Especially when the narrative that has been running on repeat for all these years is "You can't trust anyone. In the end they all fuck you." 

I struggle to find my role in this mess. Do I force help and pour all my energy into a bottomless pit. Do I stand and watch from the sidelines? Do I look away? Do I let the whole thing come crashing down? 

I don't like any of these answers. They all make my heart hurt. 

A voice inside gently whispers "find the lesson and the problem will fade away."

I love you papi. I really, really do. 

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SunChasers 011 - Vol. Jon Carlo

Joshua Tree, a magical land where time flattens and everything that ever was and ever will be just is. Ancient ancestors and ancient aliens roam the desert, but so do bunny rabbits and chipmunks. 

It is strange how such a harsh terrain can fill you with so much comfort? 

 

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SunChasers 010 - Vol. Kristina + Adam

Thankful for these two beautiful souls who took me around Marina Del Ray on my first day in LA. Sometimes you get really lucky and get to meet new friends that feel like old friends. 

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Love Letter

Throwback to 2015 when TEDxToronto commissioned me to make a love letter to Toronto. Thank you to all the many beautiful souls that came together to give life to this love child.

Still to this date, one of my all-time favourite projects.

Sending so much love and appreciate to the hundreds of people who have worked tirelessly for the last year, to bring the 2017 TEDxToronto event to life. Today is your day.

The City, she is smiling today, and it's all cause of you - All of you!

Don't forget to take a moment and smile back.

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