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Toronto Portrait Photographer || HEARTshots || Black + White Photography

Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate. 

MEN, it’s time to rally!

 

Abortion is not a women’s issue. It is a human issue.

It’s too easy for us men to take a step back from this topic and let women sort it out.

In my experience…

Boys are educated at a young age that women are to be sought out and hunted, to be seduced and used. Boys and men get rewarded for “conquering” women. And if something gets in the way of their conquests—such as an unwanted pregnancy—then there is an easy way out.

For young boys and young men, the perception of abortion is relatively easy. Pay a few hundred dollars and this “problem” goes away.

The true weight of the abortion falls on the woman.

We don’t teach young boys about the physical and emotional pain women go through. We don’t teach young boys about the risks associated with abortions. Once again, boys and men can walk away and let women sort it out.

In the past, religion played a bigger role. You could convince a young man that he would be punished by God for an abortion. This was bullshit manipulation and it’s good that religion plays a smaller role. But now there is a moral vacuum where boys and men don’t feel as responsible.

This approach is highly problematic.

No, I do not believe the solution is to scare boys.

And no, I do NOT believe the solution is to remove a woman’s right to choose.

Instead I believe we need to start teaching our young boys that women are sacred.

We need to teach young boys that women’s bodies should be honoured.

And that they have tremendous wisdom and power.

And that we need to treat them with respect.

A world where women are not seen as conquests but rather sacred, wise and powerful beings would not only show us a drop in unwanted pregnancies, but would also be a significantly safer place for ALL humans.

We have a long way to go. The first step is opening our hearts and listening to women. They are clearly asking for support. Now is not the time to tune women out.

But more than that, we need to have conversations with one another, and with anyone else who is willing to listen.

Share this post with other men and encourage them to use their voices. This is a sensitive topic. We might make mistakes, but it’s worth it. Because abortion is not a women’s issue; it’s a human issue.

Sincerely,

D

PS: I know this post is very gendered, and has a lot of binary language (eg. women/men and boys/girls). For what it’s worth I personally believe gender is a spectrum and there needs to be space for trans and non-binary leaders in these conversations.